The series of stories that gives the book its unusual title are written from the point of view of a nine-year-old boy whose mother brings him to expensive Los Angeles restaurants so that she can bill her ex-husband for the meals.    Another series of stories are letters written by a university student to her high school counsellor as she grows gradually more unhinged. Other stories imagine discussions in ancient Pompeii just before the volcanic eruption, explore the vagaries of post-gender-normative dating in New York City, and conjure up Alexander Graham Bell's first five phone calls: "Have you heard anything from Mabel? I've been calling her all day, she doesn't pick up! Yes, of course I dialed the right number - 2!" In different ways, the stories explore what it means to navigate the modern world, and are all illuminated by Eisenberg's ironic wit and fantastically funny and original voice. “Eisenberg’s strength is in dialogue and monologue  . . . Eisenberg is uncannily good at capturing a specific breed of insincere teen girl.” - Entertainment Weekly “Compelling . . . A fascinating look into the minds of misfits” - Associated Press